** FULL GALLERY CAROUSEL IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE POST
On November 18th, 2018, I conducted a poll on Instagram stories asking if you’d rather see 20 makeup looks to fit the holiday season or if that was just too much of this ol’ mug. And to my surprise 80% voted for 20 looks.
Once the surprise settled, the shock and urge to post a “JUST KIDDING” post, delete my account, and legally change my name started flooding to the front of my brain. December is a short work month; throw in the craziness of the holidays and coordinating schedules and, well, the question I had been pushing to the back of brain came swiftly to the forefront -
What. Have. I. Done?
I took a deep breathe, downed half my can of beer, smacked my lips together and said –
Well! Here we go.
And as crazy and ambitious as this project was, I knew that pushing my creativity during such a hectic season would only make me better on so many levels…
…and it did.
So, 1276 total photos, 60 total posts, 21 makeup looks, 12 flat lays, and 6 outfits later, I thought I’d share what I learned, or in better terms, relearned.
FEEL THE FEAR, THEN DO IT ANYWAY
Off the bat, I knew I would be taking a social media break once the holidays were over. A lot of my work schedule revolves around the Chinese New Year holiday closings in Asia, so I knew I would need to focus my attention on my actual job. With that in mind, I told myself this was the project to go all in.
Work had been really stressful the last few months and now questions of self-doubt started attacking me. I tend to be lenient on myself during hard times. I lock myself up and let myself wallow. This time around though, I gave myself a time frame. One weekend to feel that fear and worry before diving in.
What if my looks weren’t creative enough? What if they weren’t original enough? What if I messed up a technique or used a product incorrectly? Should I do research on the “right” way to do this? What are the correct logistics for Instagram with a project like this?
During those two days of allowing myself to wallow, something really interesting happened. As I questioned my inventiveness, techniques that I always wanted to try but was too afraid up came floating to the surface. You should try me out, they would say. My doubt in my own creativity was challenged with my desire to play with different color combinations. And my desire to do research, actually helped find some incredible inspiration. Before the second day was up, I had my whole concept for the project outlined.
Allowing yourself to feel everything you need to feel, and giving yourself enough time to react can actually help you take a step back and revisit the issues at hand with fresh eyes. And taking full ownership of that fear helped propel the project forward while simultaneously eliminated some of the doubt I felt in myself.
PLAN, PLAN, AND THEN BEND
If you’ve been following my Instagram, you’ll know that I’m a planner. I like to be prepared, think ahead, pre-film and all in all just be ready for the unexpected. And with my crazy work schedule, this was the only way I could imagine this project would get done.
I spent many hours sitting at my desk writing and rewriting posting schedules and looks, rearranging my placeholder tiles in my Plann app, and making sure that all the posts would fit into the month of December without disturbing the theme of my feed. (You know, all that technical stuff about social media that no one wants to talk about but that everyone stresses over.)
Once I figured out how many times a day I would have to post and how many flat lays and non-makeup looks I would need, it was time to figure out what the heck I was actual going to create. Luckily, the VIB 20% off sale was still happening and I started scrolling through Sephora when I stumbled upon the Huda Beauty Gemstone Obsessions palettes.
Everyone writes about these palettes but I had never been enticed before (not having watched or followed Huda Kattan’s channel/career). But these little palettes with specific color-based themes intrigued me. And the idea hit!
I would create all my makeup looks based on the five colors of the palettes – Ruby, Topaz, Emerald, Sapphire, and Amethyst. I thought Ruby, Topaz, and Emerald would be so easy as they are such quintessential holiday colors. So Sapphire and Amethyst would be a chance to push my creativity while exploring the theme of the winter season.
It all sounds like smooth sailing but here is where the lessons were learned. Coming up with all the looks was actually quite challenging not because the colors were restricting but because my thought process and my “plan” for this project kept changing.
Because I like to plan, sometimes I have a hard time letting go of the way things were supposed to go. But I had to remind myself that I plan in case something goes wrong, so that I have wiggle room to go back and make changes. NOT to restrict myself.
It’s a lesson I learn and relearn every year and I don’t think I’ll ever fully remember that this was the goal all along. To allow myself to enjoy the evolution of whatever I’m working on whether that is creating make up looks, furnishing my apartment, or life in general – it’s a good thing to go outside the lines.
BEING COMFORTABLE IS NICE, BEING UNCOMFORTABLE IS BETTER.
It sounds like such an obvious statement but during this project, I was reminded that the beauty of makeup is that it comes off. If you make a mistake or if the outcome isn’t quite what you had planned, you can take it off and start over.
So much of my anxiety comes from the fear of failure. It’s a huge reason behind why I am such an avid planner. But like with the aforementioned creative process, I had to keep reminding myself that if an idea didn’t work out the way I had intended, I was just a makeup wipe away from a blank canvas.
I won’t get into too many details but there were moments during this project where giving up or completely ditching an idea seemed like the right thing to do. (And admittedly there are edits that never made it to the final 27 looks.) I get frustrated quite easily and have an immediate tendency to blame myself.
Saturdays are my shooting day. I have my list of 5-7 looks I need to get done that day and then work throughout the week on edits and captions. On one particular Saturday, I was trying to shoot an outfit picture on my own. Typically, things go smoothly. I have my tripod, my trusty camera remote, and the view finder flipped out. But I wanted to shoot outside as I thought my red satin skirt would be a nice contrast to the leaf-less trees in our garden.
Long story short, as I was positioning the camera, my neighbor’s dog came running out of their back door and the next minute I knew a loud crash resounded through the garden. I don’t think my head jerked around any faster than it did that moment. My entire set up was laying on the group, my precious 55mm lens was snapped off my DSLR body and laying on the ground snapped in two.
I calmly collected my things, went back inside my apartment, called my brother and cried. I was frustrated, I was feeling rushed because of my work schedule, and now I was feeling defeated. But he told me to let everything I had pent up out but to not worry about the camera lens. Sure, it sucked but we still had our wide angle and starter lens and while it would pose an inconsistency in my series, it was just a small discomfort while we waited for the replacement lens. And hey, at least the camera body was still working and intact. (That would have been the costlier item to replace.)
He was so right - I wiped my tears, gently put away the two broken pieces of my beloved lens, took a hot shower, and started to rework my plans for the coming weeks. I thought looking at my well planned out shooting schedule would only make me more upset, but actually it calmed me down to rearrange not only the schedule but some of the looks.
Like the second point about being able to bend, being forced into an uncomfortable position forces you to take different approaches, to abandon method, and really get creative. While I waiting for my replacement lens, shooting with the starter lens really forced me to think about lighting, contrast, the color settings, even how heavily I should apply my highlight or which density of false lashes I should use. And when all of that planning and schemeing still didn’t quite work out, to shrug my shoulders and say, hey this is all a learning process. I’ll get it next time.
If you’ve made it this far, BLESS YOU! It’s a long entry I know but it only reflects the length and breathe of this project. Just want to say thank you for sticking around and for interacting with me and pushing me to continue this crazy journey.
Let me know your thoughts on the project and everything I gained from it.
